Salzman, who has training in neurolinguistic programming, which involves hypnosis and techniques of mirroring another individual to create deep rapport, was about to embark on a therapy session in which she would ask Jacqueline to cast her mind back to her childhood, as Nxivm sessions often do. Jacqueline had come to her with a phobia: She flips out when she gets on a plane. One time, she had to get off an airplane that had boarded because she became nervous, and when she wanted to get back on, the flight attendants wouldn’t let her.

Salzman nodded. In a near whisper, she asked Jacqueline a stream of intimate questions not only about her fear of flying but also about her parents’ relationship. She ascertained that Jacqueline believed

her mother was ill used by her father, who forced the fami

ly to move often, by air. “It was always gray around her,” Jacqueline said sadly, of her mother. “She had a horr

ible life.” But at the same time, she said, her u

pbringing made her feel as if she always needed a man to protect her.

Listening to Salzman’s ques

tions, it became clear that she was positing that these issues — Jacqueline’s fear of flying; her belief that her mother was forced into a terrible lif

e by her father; and her inability to be an indepen https dent woman — were connected. We are controlling our own lives all the time, Salzman said. We are all in c

omplete control. Jacqueline’s mom had been in control but had chosen to be a victim. And Jacqueline was in control and had chosen to be a victim, too. “Are you pretending to be a helpless woman?” Salzman said earlier.

“That’s the way I receive attention, that’s kind of my thing,” Jacqueline said.

“Women are

allowed to be dependent on men,” Salzman explained. “A great part of being a woman is no matter how you sc

rew up your life, you can always move back in with your dad. Every time you ha

ve chosen to stay dependent, you have made a decision not to be independent.” What if she became the person she relied on?